Rene Brent - The Happiness Hunter
Rene Brent first learned about hypnotherapy when she was having trouble conceiving her third child but it was many years later during the break-up of her marriage that she was drawn back to hypnotherapy and then decided to train as a hypnotherapist.
Rene is an international speaker and on the faculty for the Institute of Interpersonal Hypnotherapy. She's been a registered nurse for over 25 years and has worked in ICU trauma E.R. and the Recovery Room.
Rene helps her clients use the power of the deep inner mind to release blocks and reach personal and professional goals and she's passionate about teaching people how to 'practice happy' and become a 'happiness hunter'.
I loved talking with Rene we had a lot in common particularly as she also uses Emotional Freedom Technique in her practice.
We shared a wonderful conversation about the power of your subconscious to sabotage you but also to propel you forward and some of the ways that you can start talking to yourself from a higher knowing or learning that part of you that really does want you to succeed to get over things or to reach for a goal.
Rene is a certified clinical hypnotherapist and a number one international best selling author of the book. 'How big is your But?'
I hope you enjoy our conversation.
Find out more about Rene Brent here:-
Show Notes follow:-
Diana: [00:00:00] Thank you so much for joining me.
Rene: [00:00:02] Oh I'm so excited to be here.
Diana: [00:00:04] I've been really excited to talk with you and I know we've had a few hiccups with connections and all sorts going on but we've got there in the end.
Rene: [00:00:11] Yeah that's right exactly when we need to.
Diana: [00:00:13] So let's talk a little bit about hypnotherapy shall we. Because it does fascinate me. Tell me why you chose hypnotherapy or did it choose you?
Rene: [00:00:25] That's a great question. I think it chose me. When I was a younger woman I had two beautiful daughters and I got pregnant 18 months apart so it was very easy for me to get pregnant with them and I knew that there was a third baby waiting for me. I just knew and I wasn't getting pregnant a year, a year and a half and I was finding myself very frustrated I didn't want to go to a doctor I had two beautiful daughters. So I was anxious and frustrated. It was affecting my life and my home life. So my husband at the time said you know what I think you need a little break. So he sent me away to a spa I live in Orlando. I went to Miami to the spa for a week. Wow incredible right. What a treat. I must have really been driving him crazy. And I was looking at the list and there happened to be a hypnotherapist on site this really fancy guy and I had no idea what hypnosis was but I knew that I was struggling. I knew that I was stuck. And so I was like he's paying. I want to try anything right. So I made an appointment with him and it changed my life. He helped me understand that the subconscious mind will never let you become what you disagree with. And I understood with him that I felt that I wouldn't be as good a mom to my third as I was my first two children.
[00:01:54] So I was blocking myself and I did some visual work and it was incredible the awareness he gave me in the state of hypnosis which is only a change in a brain wave. So I was open and relaxed and I got pregnant the next month with my third child and he's 20 now. So it was a real blessing. And I knew he was waiting for me. And I went and found him and hypnotherapy helped me so I understood the power of it.
[00:02:22] But I kind of forgot about it and went about my life and I was married 20 years and my ex-husband fell in love with someone else. And it was very painful for me. And I kind of felt lost and confused and it ripped open some wounds from my childhood for sure. And I knew I was meant for something. I've been a registered nurse for almost 30 years now and I love nursing but I knew I was ready for something else.
[00:02:50] So I'm on a treadmill running. Getting some exercise trying to relieve some of the stress of the divorce and across the screen. You know they usually have a TV screen on the treadmills and there was an interview with a hypnotherapist. And I didn't even have my headphones in I saw the word hypnotherapist. It's like a bolt of lightning just went through my entire body. Diana and I stopped. I took a deep breath and I understood that's what I was supposed to be doing. That's my path and I got off the treadmill. I found the best school in the country it just happened to be you know an hour and a half from me and I signed up and I never looked back. Best decision ever.
Diana: [00:03:35] That's an amazing story. You know I'm going to also draw you back to something you said because I know it comes up as a worry for a lot of people when I chat with them about hypnosis is that they will be out of control and forced or coerced into doing something that they don't want to do. So let's just talk a little bit around what actually happens when you're in your under hypnosis.
Rene: [00:03:59] It's very common. And the first part of my first session with someone is really explaining what hypnosis is and what it isn't. And I'm from a nursing background. I'm a science geek so I love to explain this from the science perspective. Some people think it's woo woo and it's really based in science. It's just you tapping in to your subconscious mind. It's only a change in a brainwave. It does it put you to sleep it wakes you up because when you get out of that 5 percent that analytical mind and you drop into your subconscious mind 95 percent of what holds your emotions your memories your patterns. That's where the real truth happens. And so I can never make someone say or think or do anything they don't want to because they're awake they're alert they're listening to me but their subconscious mind is open and that's where change happens.
[00:04:54] The stage hypnosis you know when you do that those people understand what they're doing. They're buying into it. And the minute they don't, they wake up. I just saw a stage hypnotist about six months ago in Las Vegas I want to see what it was all about and never really seen a show and there was a guy he was a youth pastor and he went along with it. He was in the state of hypnosis. I could see exactly how he was putting him in a trance and he was fun acting long and then all of a sudden the guy told him. Now you're a porno star and he hands him this doll. Well guess what happened.
[00:05:32] The guy disagreed with it for himself he wasn't going to do it. He woke up he looked at him and he said thank you but no thank you and he walked off the stage that quickly. And it was such a brilliant example of how you will stop yourself. No one can make you do anything you don't want to.
[00:06:21] Hypnotherapy is different. And how is that. I don't tell anyone what to say think or feel. I just give you the opportunity to open up to your truth and then you go and I tell people I'm a professional garage door opener. What does that mean. It means I hope you open that door but I don't go in and rearrange things for you I hold the flashlight but you have to go in. You have to decide what you want to keep what you want to throw away what you want to fix. And that's what I do for people I never tell anybody how to feel. That's the therapy part of it. A skilled hypnotherapist will allow you to go in and find your truth to release the patterns the blocks that you don't want in your life that are getting in your way and help you find the way because when you do it for yourself the aha moment that awareness. It's forever it's so life transforming.
Diana: [00:07:25] Yeah that's wonderful. And it's seems a little bit like just being pedantic about words but actually it's all in the words isn't it. Hypnotherapist versus Hypnotist.
Rene: [00:07:37] Yes. And it also is about training if someone's looking for a Hypnotherapist. Ask how much training you want someone who has at least had 300 to 500 hours of training because unless they have that many hours they don't really have the protocol behind them to help you move through and transform a false belief for a block. They know how to put you in hypnosis and give you suggestions. But the deeper work is where the power. You know it really helps you move through it in that way so 300 to 500 hours of training is a good indication.
Diana: [00:08:15] And I think I'm on my soapbox here a little bit about emotional freedom technique too because I'm a practitioner of that modality. And for me you know it's been six years of continuous training of going through levels. And then also within each year at least 60 hours of professional development and then as well the case studies you know it's constant it's hours and hours of work with people for free before I was able to establish my practice and I know particularly I mean it would be the same with with hypnotism is that most people can access at least one course on the Internet which makes them feel they're set up to either be an EFT practitioner or a hypnotist. It teaches you the rudiments the basics but the real skill comes in how you apply it and knowing what to do with each client who comes to you in the story they bring to you and how you can best serve them the with the tools that you have.
Rene: [00:09:22] Oh absolutely. It's not that hard to put someone in to hypnosis. It's what you do with it when you're there. That's the real key. So absolutely the training and I know in EFT and tapping I am a practitioner but I use it on a basic level to help people release immediate anxiety or that sort of thing to help them. Because I'm not as skilled an EFT practitioner as yourself with the training. I tell people hypnosis is like cleaning out the garage and tapping is so you put a new bag in there every day. Right. It it's a tool for you. You're so skilled that you can get people into that garage you can help them rearrange it with tapping whereas I don't have that training to be able to really get that deep with someone in tapping. So you're absolutely right. Any professional that you hire that's going to help you really change a mindset. Just ask them their specialty and their training and more importantly and you know this as well as I do Diana. You have to have report you have to be able to feel safe enough to express your truth to someone and not feel judged. And that's a key to all of this really.
Diana: [00:10:38] So let's talk a little bit more about rapport then. Because that means a lot to us as practitioners but to people who are listening who don't practice some sort of modality you know they're coming up on this. What does rapport mean?
Rene: [00:10:55] So you have to feel connected and safe with the person who's across the room from you. I have to build rapport very quickly. I'm an instructor of hypnotherapy. So I always teach my students. This starts as soon as you answer the phone for an appointment. You have to build rapport in the sense that you have to connect to them. They have to feel safe there has to be a commonality. They have to feel like they're being heard. Most people who come to me part of it is they don't feel like they have a voice in their life. They feel stuck. They don't have awareness so it's very important for me I spent about 45 minutes to an hour in our first session getting an idea of someone's issue but also reflecting that back to them and feeling like they've been heard. If they don't trust me they absolutely are not going to go in the state of hypnosis because I can't make someone do or think anything they don't want and if they're not trusting me they're not going to go into hypnosis. So I never put someone in unless I feel that I have a good understanding of their issue that they don't have any questions they feel safe going into the state of hypnosis. They understand they're always in control. That sort of thing they can open their eyes at any time.
Rene: [00:12:13] That's rapport when you feel safe enough to allow someone to help you with your most intimate issue then that's rapport that feels safe.
Diana: [00:12:24] Wonderful. Thank you for explaining that so clearly. So I'm just wondering then if I want to work with you. How am I going to find you what should I do.
[00:12:35] So I'm I do Skype sessions so you would go to renebrenthypnosis.com or call me all my information's there. I love to hear from listeners and readers of my book my book How Big Is Your But? I get a lot of people who contact me about my book and that's amazing. But just call me or ask me any questions you know give me an email if you have a question about a hypnotherapist in your area. If someone doesn't want to work with Skype or they're not in my area I'll help them figure out how to find. I may not know someone but I can absolutely tell you how to find someone that you're going to be. It's going to feel qualified that you're going to be comfortable with.
Rene: [00:01:28] I have two free meditations that I'd love for your listeners to go check out at the website www.practicehappynow.com . You can get a couple of chapters of the book if you're interested in the book but more importantly I'd love for you to download those two free meditations if you ever want to experience a guided meditation.
One is for sleep. Everybody needs to sleep. I have a whole chapter on sleep in the book. The other one is higher self meditation. We get so caught up in remembering the things that we've done wrong that we forget to listen to our higher perspective the voice that saying no you got this you absolutely are amazing you're smart you're you could forgive yourself. You can let go of it. That's your higher self.
Diana: [00:13:17] Wonderful. OK and I'll put the links in the show notes and you brought your book up and I was going to ask you about it because the title did make me laugh.
Rene: [00:13:28] So the book How Big is Your But? b u t not what you're sitting on. Came to me it wrote itself really because I started my practice and I understood very quickly when I saw these people struggling on the other side of the room for me they're saying I want a new career but I want a happy relationship but b u t. And I understood that they were blocking themselves. Everything that said after the b u t is your subconscious block. So my suggestions to listeners is write what you want in your life. Dream big.
[00:14:05] Just allow yourself to to experience that. Write it down take a big breath in exhale and then read it again and add the word but behind it and listen to what you say to yourself. I want this new career but I'm not smart enough or something like this. That's the block that's what's blocking you from getting what you want in your life. Pay attention to that. That's gold because you can't heal it or release it until you're aware of it. So hear yourself and now you argue for your truth. Is it true that I'm not smart enough. No it's not true. I had lots of successes. This is a false belief and let it go.
[00:14:48] So I also understood that we're just not taught how to manage our subconscious mind The Boss right. You've got to learn to talk to the inner boss and we're not taught how to do it we're taught how to push it down. Think about it later. Oh that happened 20 years ago of course that's not bothering me. No it's bothering you if you feel stuck. So I wrote this book in a very simple straightforward way to help people learn to manage your subconscious mind to feel safe again to release themselves from the past to move forward to the future. So every chapter builds on the next one and self-awareness is the key. And also a big one. Self-awareness self-acceptance but I have a whole chapter called Let's talk about the F word and that is forgiveness.
[00:15:36] You have to forgive yourself or others or you're stuck you're just stuck in that moment you're stuck in that pain. So you have to release not for anyone else but yourself. And that's so so important. And I wrote a whole chapter on it. I love that chapter it's my favorite I think.
Diana: [00:15:52] I love it that you bring up forgiveness. I know for me. That was a sticking point for me for a very long time saying I've forgiven them but I hadn't really. And I you know the thought was there but the feeling wasn't there. And finally not just forgiving them but first to forgive myself for any part that I thought I might have played in anything that happened you know and even forgiving myself for feeling the way I did about them and then moving on to the next step just forgiving them for the little things before I could forgive them for bigger things. But yeah it was definitely key for me this understanding about forgiveness.
Rene: [00:16:39] Yes my favorite quote and I have it in the book as well and I use it with my clients often is what Gandhi said. 'Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die'. I can guarantee you they don't think about that but they did it. You're just damaging yourself and every time something reminds you of that. The subconscious mind is very protective and every time something reminds you of the pain or the hurt or the anger or the sadness you go right back into that moment in a flash and your mind goes there so not only are you feeling it in this moment you're reliving it every time. So why would you want to do that. Disconnect it. Leave it behind. Allow yourself to move forward and untether yourself and then you can fly and that's what forgiveness offers you. You don't do it for them. You only do it for yourself it's crucial. It's one of the keys to moving forward and really creating this beautiful, happy joyful life that you want.
Diana: [00:17:42] And that's again it's you doing it for them. It's not about letting somebody off the hook. It's not about agreeing and saying what they did is OK. It's just a bad thing that it happened to you. You were part of it. And for the fact that you actually held onto as well anything and everything to do with that event.
Rene: [00:18:04] Oh yeah absolutely. Self-forgiveness is very important. And also you take back your power because every time you hold on to that anger you're giving that person the power. You're reliving it and you're just handing your life to them. So take you back.
Rene: [00:18:19] My mother my beautiful mother struggled in her life she was a sad person she was an alcoholic and she made a lot of mistakes. And you know frankly was not a caring mother. She was only interested in decreasing her own personal pain.
[00:18:36] And I can look at that now. And I forgave her I forgave her before she died. It was a beautiful moment between us that I share in the book. But for me it was about forgiving myself too. I was angry and I wasn't very nice to her sometimes so I had to to let go of that. And it really opened up a new chapter in my life when I let it go.
[00:19:01] But I look at it now everything that I went through that helped me to be the person that I am. And it's been training for me to be in that chair to be the hypnotherapist that I am because there's not much that someone on the other side of the room can say to me that I haven't been through myself or experienced.
[00:19:23] And that brings commonalities that talk about rapport but there's no judgment for me because I can say to them I know what it feels like to be in that. I know what it feels to have a closed heart to feel stuck to feel lost. But man I can't wait for you because I know what's coming because I'm living that life I'm living that joy. So let's get started and when I can be excited for them when I can see the road that they can't see. It's incredible. I actually have the best job in the world because I get to be a front row seat to people recreating and taking back their power every day.
Diana: [00:20:00] So I have a question for you and it's around emotional strength because that's what I'm exploring as part of this podcast series and it's how do we create an emotional strength. And so I wonder what does it mean to you.
[00:20:15] So emotional strength means two things to me it means belief. Belief in your ability to move forward. Believe in your ability to create you life but also more importantly is trust when you can trust that you can handle whatever's coming your way. Then you just move forward step by step with competence and acceptance. It's really beautiful. And that's the key in my world of emotional strength because you don't pull over the side of the road when you don't know what's coming around the corner. You stay in the driver's seat and you keep going. And that is a beautiful thing. That's where peace and joy lives.
[00:21:00] Wonderful. Thank you so much and thank you for joining me today.
[00:21:04] I'm so happy I enjoy the conversation. You're a delight. I love your energy. I love that you're out there sharing this with people so keep up the good work.
[00:22:32] Thank you.
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